The Confession I posted on June 9, 2010 couldn't just stand as is was, mainly since it was an answer to a specific question, "Should Black Women Stop Getting Abortions."
Of course all women should stop having abortions. But since the question singled out black women, and since that conversation is between two black American women, myself and Jessica Ann Mitchell, and since we find the state of the black American family in near death, I felt it necessary to tailor my further response to black Americans.
The first part of my response has already been publicized here [sic], but I posted the following originally in a Facebook note. For that reason, I will only post here what I deem to be the second part of the answer. There might be a little preaching. That's an essential part of me. He's a part of me.
It’s obvious that my comment is not just about abortion but about the behavior from where it usually stems: fornication. Even when I tried to ensure that the circumstances which surrounded my abortion would never occur again—by taking the pill—I still suffered from my past behavior and so did my subsequent offspring. Because of what I had done before she even existed, my second child could not live.
The question whether black women—or any women—should stop getting abortions is an incomplete one. Of course the answer is ‘yes’ because abortion is murder, the premeditated taking of an innocent life. (Moreover, let me state for the record: not all killing is murder.)
However, let me answer more fully: all women should stop creating the exterior and--more importantly--the interior conditions under which abortion is an option. And by that I mean that all women should stop giving themselves to men who they are not sure will love, cherish and protect them and any prospective offspring they may create by having sex with each other.
Have I always behaved morally since the horrific conditions stated happened in my life? No. But while I haven’t had a repeat of the same catastrophes via giving myself to a man who had not committed to me, my soul has greatly suffered from the giving and from the parting afterward.
You see, there’s this thing about women, a thing that makes us different from men, aside from the physical aspects. When we lay down with a man, we are giving him more than physical pleasure and doing more than gaining physical pleasure for ourselves.
When a woman has sex with a man, she joins her soul with him.
I’ve been telling my men friends this over and over again. Some get it; others don’t. However, women are the part of the population who need to get this--especially black women for reasons I will get into directly. Ladies, you are destroying yourselves spiritually and emotionally when you give yourselves to a man who has not taken you under his spiritual protection--and by that, I mean marriage. And when that man to whom you gave that special part of yourself leaves, your soul and spirit cry out in pain from being cleaved.
Because he’s taking a part of you with him when he leaves—a part which is not meant to be separated from the rest of yourself. He’s cutting off a piece of you, and the worst thing is: you allowed it to happen. It’s worse than a physical mutilation—it’s a mutilation of your soul.
If you do this enough times, ladies, you’ll stop caring about your spirit and your soul. In fact, the two become comatose from the continuous injury, if not dead. Think I’m exaggerating?
Think about all the illegitimate black children there are in America and think about the fact that black women have the highest rate of abortion of any women in America. That statistic says that there are very many black women who are giving themselves to men who don’t care about them.
Now think about all the black women you know or whom you have observed who are spiritual and emotional wrecks. They are that way because they feel worthless and have allowed men to treat them as if they are worthless. After a while, women who continue to behave this way take it to heart.
Think these things through. It’s a vicious cycle.
Now from that bit of cutting, it’s an easy and short road toward murdering that whom is a part of self—to cutting one’s child to pieces.
Yes, I know some will say “well, I did what you did and my life hasn’t turned out the way yours has.” Well, of course not; we are individual beings and our outer life circumstances are unique to our individual selves. But I’m willing to bet that nearly all women have suffered some adverse effect(s) from giving themselves to men who don’t care about them. (I may be one of the “lucky” ones.) And almost all of those effects are internal—a penalty within one’s soul.
And, on top of that, we can take these effects and mirror them onto black men, too many of whom are angry at the world, angry at black women, and angry at themselves (black-on-black crime). [i] That anger almost always stems from observing or experiencing the spiritual, moral and worldly failure of their mothers.
When people who know that I’m a Christian ask me my opinion about why I think God sets certain rules for us to follow, I usually say “for our benefit; to keep us from harm.” Sometimes I’m unable to articulate the details of those benefits and that harm, but not in this case. Sexual immorality and the results there from have nearly destroyed black Americans—and, in the case of abortion, literally so.
So, in answer to Jessica Ann’s question, “Should Black Women Stop Getting Abortions,” I give a resounding ‘yes.’ It’s time to stop it and to pull it out of the ground by its root. Our spirits and souls are the ground and the root consists of self-hatred and worthlessness. It’s from the Source of Evil.
The tiller is immorality—sin. Let’s make an end to that; not to ourselves and to our children.
[i] When I mentioned this part of the essay to my mother, she said, "Black-on-black crime is their method of abortion." Just so.
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