Pet Peeve: Your Behind

It’s a dangerous business, Frodo, going out your door.

-- Bilbo Baggins, The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring. J.R.R.Tolkien (1954)

It’s always something.

-- Gilda Radner (1946-1989) as Roseann Rosannadanna; this is also the title of her autobiography.

This morning, I committed an act of self-restraint, but don’t pat me on the back yet.

I opened the vestibule door of my building to see a girl standing on the porch directly in front of the doorway. When she heard the door open, she turned around and looked at me. I looked at her as well, but neither of us said anything.

Normally, I give everyone a chipper “Good Morning” or “Hello,” but not in this case. The girl was committing what I consider one of the most egregious non-violent sins.

After about five seconds, she unblocks the exit. So, I’m thinking that she must be a mind reader, because I was thinking the following. Multiple foul language alerts.



It’s one of the few pieces of modern hip-hop that I will tap my foot to. Listening to it all the way through is another story, however.

I see people blocking egresses all the time. Grocery shoppers are the worst violators of this infraction – my favorite is when a person is blocking the aisle with his body and his cart -- and it cuts across racial and gender lines. I’ve had people look at me with confusion when I said, “excuse me” or “pardon me.” Three people – all men – have even started an argument with me!

I suppose that if, in these cases, I ungagged my inner South Central ‘hood girl, the message would be much more speedily and clearly received.

Is this simple form of lack of consideration for others symptomatic of something deeper? Probably.

In the meantime, take a moment to consider that your backside may be in the way of progress. Love your neighbor and (re)move it.

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