Friday, July 12, 2019

From Fear to Faith

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Baldilocks Talks: Episode Two is here.

And ...

I have a problem. I’ve had it all my life.

It’s the fear that anything I want and work for will not come to pass.

Before God got ahold of me and for some time afterward, it was a self-fulfilling prophecy.

As an adult, I reached out for many things – things which normal, functioning, and gifted adults reach for all the time. Family, children, education, career.

Reaching for such things, I’ve had my hand slapped down so many times that I stopped trying.

It became a feedback loop. I was afraid to try and fail again but I was also afraid to stop trying because what would the end result of that be? For years, this fear has been a huge source of anxiety.

The anxiety is clamping down my abdomen even as I type this.

Ever since I started writing in public, I’ve had dozens of people tell me that I’m gifted, but deep down, I felt that they were all just being nice to me. Meanwhile, I’ve watched as communicators who are similar to me in ability, ideology, and content rocket past me in all areas of success, especially in the Big Two: reach and finances. And, of course, the former leads to the latter.

I started to believe that I was cursed. And guess what! I was right.

I had curse myself through unbelief; through lack of faith in God.

Before God drew me to Christ, there was an “excuse” for this way of thinking, but not anymore.

Some who read this might point the finger at me and accuse me of “playing the victim.” Well, guess what! They are right, too.

I have been a victim of listening to the Adversary’s voice. That voice had almost become my own.

Well, join me in rebuking that merger in the name of Jesus the Christ.

I restarted my Patreon show, Baldilocks Talks, in part to stretch out my hand in faith rather than cower in fear. I have been not pleased with my own performance and I can feel the pull to give up.

Well, screw that, too.

The other reason I restarted the show in that, again, I’m in financial straits.

A confession: since I moved out of homeless housing in 2015, I’ve been a recipient of Veteran’s Section 8. But I took in too many donations last year and I’m now going to get the boot.

Thank God for being set free!!!!

But I still have bills to pay: rent, utilities, insurance. The usual; also I need a new phone. This month it’s about $3000.

God will provide if I keep pushing in faith. So, that’s what I’m going to do.

I have three projects I need to finish in the next few days: two transcripts for my two already-published Patreon shows; and the Big One: I want to finish the Supernatural Series I started in December. (In a sense, that series started when I was four years old.)

And Dave and I will produce another episode of Baldilocks Talks in less than a week.

While I’m doing that, please pray for me and please ...

Thank you for both.

ONE MORE THING: About my standard blurb below, regarding DaTechGuyBlog, its owner -- Peter Ingemi -- has been a great friend and blessing to me since 2013. So, if you don't want to hit my tip jar, I would greatly appreciate it if you donated to our six-year-long project -- Da Magnificent Seven. You can do so at his site.

Every Tuesday and Saturday, I blog at the award-winning DaTechGuyBlog. Latest post: Fighting for the Serf Turf.

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Monday, July 1, 2019

Interview with a Bald Girl on Patreon

I started my Patreon account back in 2017 with a show called Baldilocks Talks. I’d planned on making videos but my innate shyness (stop laughing) and vanity made me not want to do it.

As with all things worthwhile, however, there needs to be a catalyst – a push. Fire in the belly and/or under one’s backside. God has provided many of these since that beginning and the latest follows.

I have had trouble being hired in traditional positions because I have a record: carrying a loaded firearm; a misdemeanor. Yes, that’s a no-no here in California.

It was a first offense from six years ago, and I plan on having the record expunged – I’ve been a good girl since then. That, however, costs hundreds of dollars.

There’s additional motivation that I’ll get to in a later post.

In the meantime, I’ve kept plugging at what I love -- analyzing, observing and communicating – using the tools that I have.

But, as I pointed out earlier, I wasn’t using all of my tools.

So, I reached out to good friend and long-time baldilocks blog supporter Dave Perkins about helping me restart a regular podcast and below is a link to our first production. Dave is the producer and editor.

Me and Dave during last year's Road Trip
It’s in interview format and while I'm less mouthy here than I am in written form, but that will, of course change as I get more comfortable.

Considering the way in which Big Social Media is clamping down on conservative content producers, this, however, could be the wrong time to start.

Or the right time.

I’d say that it’s the latter. Just a few days ago, I was having a chat with a Facebook friend, a fellow conservative, who feels the need to censor herself due to the danger of being sent to what we colloquially refer to as Facebook Jail: the 30-day ban.

And it’s a legitimate concern. Twice I’ve posted for Dave on his FB page during his 30-day bans.

And there are dozens of conservatives – some with tens of thousands of followers -- who have been permanently banned from Twitter and Facebook for a variety of reasons. For some, there has been no stated reason at all.

But I have to take my own advice.
[I]t’s up to each one of us low rollers to step into the breach that our high-rolling friends no longer occupy and make the fearful keep trembling. Take it to them.
There's more than one way to keep from being muzzled. (See social media links below.)

Therefore I present our first interview.

Go ahead and subscribe! I'll keep most of them at the one dollar minimum for now. And don't forget: you can also make a one-time donation below.

Criticism is welcome. It's the only way to improve.

I'd like to see more of you step (back) into the breach, as well. They can't shut all of us up ...

Well, they could, but why make it easy for them?

Every Tuesday and Saturday, I blog at the award-winning DaTechGuyBlog. Latest post: A Slice of CA Voter Fraud Pie.

When you hit the Tip Jar, it helps pays for: A Roof Over My Head, Food, Gasoline, Car Insurance, the writing of My Next Book(s), and Utilities--especially Internet and COFFEE! Yes, coffee is a utility.

Become a Patron!